Do you know anything colder than loneliness?
The only thing colder than loneliness would be death, I guess.
I have felt many times the smack of the Baltic Sea wind cut my fingers and redden my cheeks. Yet only once have I felt the extreme coldness of Death on my hand. I will never forget this sensation.
I thought at the time that if I saw the dead body of my grand-ma it would help me get closure. So I visited her on her last bed, I spoke to her some last words, and before I let her go, I put my hand on her forehead.
The sensation took me by surprise. By making contact with Death I had opened a door for her to enter me. She travelled from Grand-ma to me for a while along my veins, cooling down my blood. The shock of this sensation at least had for effect to dry my tears.
The weather was warm outside, yet the sensation stayed on my hand for the next half hour. And it stayed inside of me forever.
Then and there, as I learned death, I also learned life.
One of the main lessons I would later learn from Life, is that happiness and loneliness don’t match.
Humans need love as much as they need oxygen. Yet sometimes they are too proud to accept it. Some other times they are just too busy to give it the attention it deserves.
In our modern times when communication is supposed to be at its most advanced stage, we tend to forget some of its very basics. The primal communication. The one that comes from eye contact and feeling, words and movements.
It seems sometimes so difficult, when it is in reality so simple.. Like a smile or a gentle word. We all like those. It only takes us little courage to break open our cold city armours and be spontaneous.
- Credits: James Van Nguyen Photography
I come from a world where a friend is someone you share with, looking in the eye, in trust. Maybe this concept seems old in times when “friends” are strangers you accept in your Facebook page. If it is, I don’t care. I know I’m right.
I also learned from life that when you’re alone, you can’t build much.
I think that team work is something amazing. One of the richest experiences you can have. Whether you fight within a sports team, or within a work team, or within a fellowship to destroy evil. 😉
In the world of music, if you’re lucky, you’ll find people you will share and build your biggest dream with.
You will get together in a room, in most cases dusty and dingy, and you’ll create magic together. From the drums you’ll hit and the amps you’ll plug you’ll get rhythms and distorted sounds. You’ll create atmospheres and grooves. You’ll move to them, free yourself from everyday’s tensions and reach a higher level together.
Some call these sessions devilish. I call them godly.
Even though Eilera is my name and my songs, I refuse to make this a cold solo project surrounded by meaningless characters. I like to share with meaningful ones I select carefully, for their musical skills and for their human qualities. We go for a piece of the journey together. These people are rare. I breathe my musical oxygen together with them.
These people are called my bandmates.
2 thoughts on “Loneliness, Death.. Bandmates”
j’aime ce que tu décris concernant les derniers instants de ta grand mère; il y a 2 ans (c’était il y a quelques jours ) j’ai accompagné les derniers instants de vie de ma mère et vécu son dernier souffle tout près de moi .. que dire ? Que j’ai ressenti aussi la même chose (sauf que beaucoup de larmes sont sortis de moi à ce moment là) et qu’elle vit en au plus profonds de moi dorénavant et que ces instants restent gravés en moi pour l’éternité …
“tout vrai regard est un désir” Alfred de Musset